


Healing of the Empty Heart

by bulldog0701



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Build, Snape is a mind healer, Therapy, mind healing, very very slow build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:46:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulldog0701/pseuds/bulldog0701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape sees one of Harrys worst memories while attempting to teach him occlumency, and it leaves Harry in shambles. Will he be able to heal Harrys heart? Or will he be pushed away like so many others have?</p><p>VERY SLOW BUILD!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This first chapter will be a little short, but the others will be longer. I promise. Updates will be random and I have no clue where this story is going, seeing as I only have the first 4 chapter planned out.
> 
> These first few chapter will be a little sad, but there will be a lot of happy stuff coming soon!
> 
> Thank you for reading, I will post the next chapter soon!

“You are not trying! Open your mind and lose all emotion! You are holding on to your fear. All of your anger! Let it go.” The tall man’s voice reverberated off the stone walls of the cold office room.

“I’m trying! I am letting go! You just keep pushing, and I can't get you out!” the young raven haired boy yelled.

“Try harder, Mr. Potter. Because if you can't keep me out of your head, then I have no doubt in my mind the Dark Lord will be able to intrude.” Professor Snape sneered at the young boy in front of him. “Again.” And without warning, Snape entered Harrys mind with ease.

()

The large, purple faced man came stalking towards the small, scrawny boy with a manner of absolute rage.

It was the day of Harrys twelfth birthday. The day Dobby got him in trouble by ruining Vernon Dursley's dinner party.

“You! How DARE you use magic in this house! You know the rules!” Uncle Vernon yelled, making Aunt Petunia flinch and take hold of Dudley’s shoulder.

“It wasn’t me!” the young Harry pleaded, knowing all too well that it was useless. The man just wanted a reason to punish and hurt the boy.

“It wasn't, was it? Then, pray tell, who was it?” Vernon asked in a surly voice. He grabbed the boy by the scruff of his neck and pushed him down the hall. “Upstairs! Go to your room, I'll deal with you in a minute!” Harry ran up the steps and into his room, falling to his bed in the process. He wouldn't let tears fall from his eyes, but that didn't stop them from pricking at his eyes. He could hear the fat man's feet trudging up the stairs, and just waited for the beating that was inevitable. Dudley’s laughs following close behind.

“You think you could do that without getting punished, did you! Well sorry to say that because today is your birthday, I don't see reason why you can't be shown how to behave the proper way.” The fat man stepped closer and grabbed the front of Harrys shirt and threw him onto the bed on his back.

“What are you doing” Harry asked threw strangled sobs, the fear of his Uncle making the unshed tears fall down his cheeks.

“Shut up, boy!” Vernon comanded. He climbed on top of Harry and pinned him to the bed. “Dudley, son, grab me the rope from the garage. We're going to have some fun together.” The sneer on the man's face made horrid shivers run through Harrys body, and his cousin fled the room.

A few minutes later, Dudley returned with a bunched up rope and handed it to his father who had already stripped Harry of his clothes. Harry was tied to the headboard of his four poster bed and flipped onto his stomach. Vernon slapped harry on the backside, and Harry gave a yelp in pain.

Suddenly, something was prodding him open in the back and Harry could see Vernon showing Dudley how to enter Harrys arse. He suddenly pushed a little harder and Harry was filled with all of his cousin. Vernon let out a menacing laugh and slapped Harry once again on the backside.

()

Suddenly, the vision of Harrys memory blurred and Snape was forced out of his students mind.

“You had no right to see that!” Harry said through silent sobs. He was on his knees in front of his chair and he had tears running down his face.

“Potter- I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to see anything like that.” Harry was unresponsive and just curled up into a ball to cry onto his knees. “Why didn't you tell Dumbledore they treated you that horribly?” Snape asked as he knelt down beside the boy. Harry just shook his head. “Harry. Why didn’t you tell your friends about it? They could have helped you.” Again, Harry just shook his head.

Snape placed his hand on Harrys shoulder and pulled him into an embrace and held him until he stopped crying. And even then, he didn't let go.


	2. Begining to Heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is un beta'd, so any and all mistakes are mine and I apologize. I have etided this to the best of my ability, but if you are interested in helping me look over the chapters before they are posted, that would be much appreciated.
> 
> As or this post, I am sorry it took as long as it did to get this chapter up. I only just got my laptop repaired and I couldn't write until now. Thank you for all of your support you are showing this story, it means so much to me. Any and all comments and Critiques you might have are welcome. As well are suggestions on where you want this story to go.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy! :)

“I have a proposal for you, Mr. Potter,” said the tall man dressed in black. He couldn’t believe that the young raven-haired boy in the leather chair in his office in front of him had opened up so much as to cry in his arms.

“A Proposal, Sir? I don’t understand.” Harry Potter’s deepest and darkest secret that he hasn't even told his best friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, about had just been revealed to his potions professor, the one who has tormented him for years, during an occlumency lesson. He had only just calmed down enough to speak without the feeling of being asphyxiated by the lump that had made it’s way up his throat.

“Yes. I believe that the reason you cannot learn occlumency is because of the fear and the pain that has taken over your mind, and I believe that there is a way we can deal with that. Now I want you to hear me out on this, but you will have the right to say no and I will explain everything to the Headmaster about why the lessons are at an end.” Harry just nodded his head in confirmation.

Snape had happened upon a rather horrible memory of Harry’s, and realized that the boy hadn’t been raised in the way he believed. He’d thought he was treated as the Savior of the Wizarding World at his home, and that was one of the reasons he resented the boy, but now he knows the boy was starved and beaten, as well as raped multiple times by his sorry excuse for an Uncle. A surge of anger overwhelmed his as Harry was crying, but the perks of being a spy for the Order was knowing how to conceal your emotions in times of trouble. He had calmed down while to boy cried in his arms.

“I don’t think you know, but I am a Master in Healing. I want to help you through all of the memories, but I don’t want to do it the normal way. I know it is usually done with mind healers and magic, but I want to offer something a little closer to what muggles refer to as therapy. Of course, we would need to go through the memories of your home life, so we could bring in a pensieve, but I want them to be mainly talking about what you feel when you think about those people and what they have done to you.”

The entire time the potions professor was speaking, Harry had his gaze aimed towards the ground and couldn’t understand why the man that has hated him for years wanted to help him.

“Why do you want to help me? I thought you hated me?” Harry asked and the older man just sighed.

“I never hated you personally. I hated who you look like. I hated your father. That is why I treated you so badly for all those years. Well, that and the fact I am posing as a spy for the Dark Lord and he would become suspicious if we got too close.”

Harry was shocked at the news of his professor being a spy for Voldemort. Or at least, a pretend one. He had believed that the man was a true Death Eater through and through. Who knew the man actually works for the order.

“The reason I want to help you is because I promised you mother I would protect you, and I have apperently been doing a shity job at keeping aformentioned promise.”

“You knew my mother?” Harry asked. Once again, the older man clad in the never ending black, billowing robes and the greasy hair had managed to shock him to another planet.

“I did. We were actually best friends for many years. Up until she was killed. We met just about a year before our first year at Hogwarts and we lived near each other. As soon as she learned about a prophecy concerning the Dark Lord and a young child, she knew that child was you.Her unborn son. She knew danger was on the way and I promised her that should anything happen to her and James, I would look after you from a distance and make sure you were safe. She helped me through many things when I was young, and I want to do the same for you as a way to repay her and keep my promise.”

“So, if I accept, you will need to see more of my memories, right?” Harry was still a little wary about allowing the man that had made his life hell to go through his worst memories. The things that no one else in the world know about except for the awful muggles that have inflicted so much pain.

“I will, but that is only after we would set up the rules you have for me regarding what I can or cannot bring up, and the things I will need you to do for me while you are in these, healing sessions, we’ll call them.” Snape stood up and went to his desk and sat down in his chair at the head of the room. “I will write down what you say about how each memory makes you feel, then use those notes to see where we would need to go after the first few sessions. But the main healing will be you letting out your feelings to someone neutral to you and letting you rant about all of the things you have kept hidden inside for so long.”

“So you would just listen to me after we both look at one of my memories and I could just vent out all my feelings?” Harry was astounded that the man was willing to do so much for him and it was almost too much shock for one evening.

“Yes. Will you agree? I promise nothing you say or anything I see will be mentioned to anyone or talked about anywhere else but in my quarters.”

What? His quarters? I thought they would be held in here. “Why can’t we hold these sessions in here?”

“You would really want to see such horrible things and get so emotional in my office where it is cold and damp and smells like pig farts and mandrake root? I would think my personal quarters would be much more efficient and a lot more comfortable.” Harry couldn’t help but grin and giggle when the usually monotone and emotionless man in front of him said ‘pig farts’.

“I guess that makes sense. Will I be able to tell my friends that these sessions would be occlumency lessons? I don’t want them knowing the truth. At least, not yet.” Snape just nodded his head in affirmation and Harry said, “Than I accept. When would we start?”

“We could start now, if you wish. I have already seen one of your memories, so why not tell me what you felt when you saw that scene.” The potions Master led Harry through a door on the side of the room that he had never noticed before and showed him to a room Harry could only imagine was his living room.

Snape offered a place on the dark green plush couch that looked well used that sat in the middle of the well-decorated room. “Your quarters are in your office?” Harry asked.

“That was the entrance I use when I am tired after office hours. The main entrance to these rooms are just down the corridor from my classroom,” the tall man explained as he sat down in a chair by the fire. “You can start speaking whenever you feel ready.”

Harry brought his knees up to his chest and took a deep, shaky breath as he got ready to spill all of his anger and hurt from the past 15 years to the dark haired man. “Well, I don’t know. I felt like my world was ending, like that moment, as it came back to me again, wanted to take control of my mind. It felt like the anger that I had stored away and the fear that has driven my entire life were at war with each other and I just wanted to hide. Away from the world, and all of the people that come with it.”

“I wanted to just escape from all of the things that have shaped me to be this worthless person who deserves all of the punishment in the world for all of the things I have done wrong. That memory especially made me think that I deserve everything that I get. All the pain and torture. Like all the people around me that treat me like shit are doing the right thing by keeping me in my place as someone who deserves to be killed by Voldemort, or beaten by my Uncle.” Harry could barely speak the words through the sobs that were escaping from his frail body and Snape rose from his chair immediately and strode over to hold the boy close.

“Shh. Harry, look at me.” Snape lifted Harry’s face by his chin and met the emerald green eyes he knew to be Lily’s. “No one, not even the worst kind of person, deserves to be in pain and treated the way that fat old man treated you. It was horrible, what happened to you for so long, but you can’t let that take over your life. You can’t let your pain and your fear and your anger be the only things you live for. Live for the people that care about you. Live for the people that you care about. But most importantly, live for yourself, Harry. Make yourself happy and don’t let the people in your past ruin your future. Leave all of them behind.”

Harry’s sobs had softened at the older man’s words, and he leaned into the warmth that was offered to him. Snape just held the young boy in his arms tightly and let the boy cry. He knew they had a long way to go before Harry would begin to heal, because first they had to deal with all of the things that have been bottled up for so long and reassure the boy that he was safe and strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading until the end. I hope you continue to look for updates on this story, for it would make my life happy.
> 
> Once again, comments and Critiques are very welcome, and suggestions on where the story should go are encouraged, because, lets face it, I have no clue where this story is heading. PLEASE HELP BY COMMENTING!
> 
> I love you guys. I hope you have a wonderful day/night!


	3. Bad Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will just be letting you guys knw. This story is going to be more about Severus helping Harry cope with everything he is going through with a side of romance. I will try my hardest to make sure there is enough romance to fill the air, but that will not be my main focus on the story.
> 
> I also know that I am not a skilled writer, nor do I think my writing is the best out there. That is why I am very understanding if you would rather drop this story at any point. I would too.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy. This took me all of an hour and a half. Hehe...

“What is one of your worst memories? Other than the first one I viewed, I want to see what you have been through. I will be able to see it either with a pensieve or with legilimency. It is your choice, but I want to warn you that should you choose the second option I will be much easier on you than during the lessons.”

 

It was their third meeting and they were finally beginning to open up to each other. Harry and Snape spent the last session getting to know each other and Snape had told Harry of his time with his abusive father and how Lily had helped him through his time.

 

“Legilimency. It will be easier and I don’t think I want to shuffle through my other memories to do the pensieve,” said the withdrawn boy who was curled in on himself on the soft, velvety couch in front of the fireplace.

 

“Very well. Push the chosen memory to the front of your mind and I will be able to see it without having to go through the others to find it.”

 

Harry closed his eyes and focused on the haunted memory. “Legilimens,” came the soft, low voice of the potions master as he entered the mind of his student.

 

(Memory Starts)

 

“Boy! Get up!” came the shrilling voice of a woman in the hallway. Snape figured that the obnoxious voice was from Petunia. Why the woman as so horrid, he will never know. “Make breakfast!” she screeched as she pounded on the door to wake the boy up.

 

Harry chose this memory because it was on a day he had caught a cold from hiding in a nearby patch of trees for 3 hours hiding from Dudley. He and his friends had chased him down the street and had pushed him into a small creak in the middle of winter. Snape figured this was before Harry started school at Hogwarts.

 

Harry was lost in thought as he heard the pounding footsteps of his Uncle coming down the stairs and burst open the door to his cupboard. His fat walrus-like frame of a body was keeping him from entering the door fully, so he pulled the small child out of the small room by his hair and slammed him on the floor in the kitchen.

 

“You heard your Aunt! Do as you’re told and make breakfast, you worthless FREAK! You should be grateful we took you in and yet you disobey? We have been nothing but kind to you and you disrespect all that we are doing for you?” Harry could only respond by breaking into a fit of coughing from the impact of landing on the floor.

 

As if feeling like Harry was contaminating him with a virus that makes one irreversibly and horrifically freakish, the portly man began to beat the small boy. Kicking him all over his body before picking him up with a fist of his shirt and began to punch the boy in the fane and then the gut. Harry was bloody beyond imagine and tears were flowing down his bruised cheeks at an alarming rate. Snape had to remind himself multiple times that he was watching a memory because it was all he could to from trying to tear the fat man to pieces for hurting a small boy so bad. He felt guilty for leaving him in the care of this monster and thinking everything was alright. Not even checking up on him once to see if he was safe, or even alive.

 

The beatings from Vernon went on for a good 10 minutes before he decided he would have to clean all of the blood off of the floor and decided to toss the boy back into his miniature cupboard. “Look at the mass you caused! You aren’t to come out of there for a week and no meals for 2 days! And stay quiet, or I will continue to show you why you should show respect.”

 

And from there, the memory ended and Snape evacuated the broken and battered mind of the boy. When he got his senses back from being in one memory for so long, he turned to the boy who was hiding his legs behind his knees again and was shaking into an awkward self-hug type thing.

 

“Harry? Look at me.” Snape called as he lowered his wand to its holster on his arm and sat down next to the silent boy and just brought an arm over his shoulders to hold him. “Harry, I want to to look at me and tell me why you chose that memory. Why was that one of the ones that stand out?” Harry raised his head from their hiding spot behind his legs, but he avoided all eye contact and instead look into the roaring fire in front of him.

 

“That was the first time he beat me with more than a few punches or insults. That was the first time I was locked into that cupboard for longer than 2 days. And all of it was because of that horrid ‘Harry Hunting’ game that caused me to get sick in the first place.” Harry’s voice was frighteningly slow and had a dull, monotone modulation.

 

“Other than me, does anyone know what they did to you? Like Ms. Granger or Mr. Weasley?” Snape asked. He needed to know if they knew and had done anything to help him that he could bring into these ‘sessions’.

 

“Ron and the twins rescued me when I was in lockdown in my room in the summer before second year. So they know that they aren’t the kindest people, but they don’t know about the beatings or the… other stuff.” Harry didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he was used and dirty, so he promptly fled from saying anything about it. “I think Hermione suspects something. She’s too smart not to, I just don’t know what she thing and how far her suspicions go.”

 

Snape stood from where he was sitting and holding Harry and instead knelt down in front of him to see the emerald eyes that he had grown up loving. He couldn’t help but get lost in the eyes before him as he had always had a soft spot for the unyielding gaze that Lily had apparently passed down to her son. Who, has of course, always been just as annoying as his father to keep him from favoring him and loving him. But now that he doesn’t show any of that rebellion and stubbornness, but rather vulnerability, Snape can’t help but wish he could take all the pain away from the boy and carry it himself. If for no other reason than for Lily.

 

“Harry. You need to tell people about this. Not anyone who can’t keep a secret and that you don’t trust with your life, but someone who is close enough to you to help you through this when I can’t. Because I can only do so much. You need someone who always be there, and always be able to calm you down when you are scared or angry. That person isn’t me, so I suggest one of those two. You don’t need to tell them everything, just enough for them to get the fact that you need support and love.”

 

“But, why can’t that person be you? You have already helped me with the last memory you saw, so I know you can do it with others.” Harry really didn’t want to tell Ron or Hermione. He knew they would care and watch over him, but they had stuff of their own going on. Ron would pity him and wouldn’t really know how to handle the situation, while Hermione would never let him out of her sight. He was already ogled enough as it is, and he didn’t want to have his two best friends have to hide something like that.

 

“Because, Harry. I might not always be there. And I am pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be watched over like a hawk by me.”

 

“Why not? I mean, you have been watching me more than most people since my first year, this wouldn’t be any different. I don’t want to tell anyone else. You only know because you stumbled upon that memory on accident. The others never have to know if I don’t want them to.”

 

Severus knew he had watched the boy for years, but had never really put much thought as to why. “I won’t make you tell them for now. But later, after a couple more of these sessions and when I think you are making progress, I want you to at least think about it. Okay?”

 

Harry nodded his head in agreement but looked back at his knees held close to his chest. Severus stood up from his place in front of Harry and made his way to his usual seat on the right of the couch. The rest of their night was passed by talking about their past and how they were similarly raised. Severus told Harry ways to deal with trauma and panic attacks, though Harry was still very withdrawn.

 

Little did he knew he was going to have to put those skills to use in a matter of hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far into this piece of crap. This is really just for practice until I feel my skills are improving, but after I feel like I don't need this anymore, it will most likely be discontinued. I am planning on having this be close to 20 chapters, but I might not finish it. Thanks for reading anyway. Sayonara...


	4. A/N Question...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for you guys regarding the status of this story, and would love to see what you guys think.

Hello, Readers. I am just wondering, the last chapter I posted, I received multiple comments saying that the relationship between Harry and Snape is moving too fast. I have come to agree with this opinion recently and have amused myself with the Idea of rewriting this story. This was originally made as a story where I could just work on my skill, but I have grown to like the plot bunnies living inside the Snarry infested side of my brain. Where as the other is filled with multiple other Harry Potter ships, Like Harrymort, Drarry, and Tomarry.

So back to the point, I was wondering if, In the eyes of you guys, as you are what made me want to write in the first place, would rather me rewrite this and take the story slower and make Snape less OOC or if I should just leave it how it is. I would personally like to redo this story as I feel like I have not tried my best with it, but the decision is ultimately up to you guys.

Please comment if you have a preference, it would be very helpful. I much appreciate it and can't wait to come to an answer. I love you guys and Thank you for listening to my question.


End file.
